The Obvious Solution

Cootules you is the cutes and I’m sure you has the same question as everyone else; ‘Why didn’t Brad just follow u out to ur car?’  And full truthies this makes the most sense which is why a few months into having full ownership of my car that is exactly what Brad did.  Except even if you didn’t know about the ebb and flow of Sneakors’s musings or notice the remaining writings you’d have to know this was easy; too easy.

So, per the invocation of full truthies, I should explain the time Brad stood up to to his troll and got his metaphorical shit pushed in.  Turns out standing up to the person who is trolling you might gets you trolled. In other news sneakorses is sneakorsy.

This night Brad and I were closing together.  We get the shop locked up and get to the time clock.  Apparently Brad brain farted his way through life up until this point and proudly announces that he is going to follow me to my car.  Now I’mma give everyone some time to have a moment. One long uninterrupted space of time to really take in the choice being made here.  Obviously this is the worst move you can make in this circumstance. And as a result I went right ahead and took Brad up on his offer to go for a long pointless walk.

Where was we walking?  I had plans. So step one; we went out the wrong door.  The adjacent store included many exits. Since I knew where der might be unicorns we weren’t going that direction.  Once out into the parking lot Brad spazzed out at every car we passed. This was unfortunate because I had selected a sidewalk between two lines of nearly filled parking rows.  Did I own the Beamer? Did I own the Cruise? Did I own the Avenger? It was the Beamer wasn’t it! I’m sure a dog in a fire hydrant factory would be less enthusiastic. We then got out of the parking lot and crossed a 5 lane street.

Undeterred Brad found himself at Burger Spot.  By this time I had come to accept the ADHD afflicted puppy on my heels and doubled down on ma plan.  We go in and I order us a bunch of burgers and drinks. After we sat down I start shooting Logan texts; a bit skeptical until the pics of us eating late burgers.  After drawing things out I head for the door and Brad joins me. We follow a similar path back with Brad sorting through cars again; trying to choose if I went sporty or practical.  Fords and Chevys and Jeeps, oh my. Finally arrive back in the store; rather anticlimactic or at least Brad thought so. As I started heading in Brad announced he needed to meet his girlfriend; scampered off around 10pm.  I chilled a bit before exiting out the correct door and vanishing into the night.

Now I knows what you is thinking; wheres the twist?  Where is the super plan that messes wid everything and makes the chortles happen?  It may not have been flashy, but it’s been going down the entire time. Sooner or later Brad was going to pull this stunt.  I’d seen him aiming to do it for weeks. It was the setup for his victory. And if it didn’t go as planned then he was going to do it again until it was just right. Like a spoiled child at a dice game.  So I had to let it happen, but make it so he would never want to do it again. It couldn’t be flashy or exciting and it couldn’t be of any real value to him. It needed to be a time sink that he couldn’t justify.  Something he would bring up every time someone pointed out how it was the obvious choice. Just one long pointless walk with much ado about nothing.