Inattentional Blindness
I was closing at 8:30 and Brad didn’t know; when asked I said I was staying until question marks. Turns out Brad was staying until 9; I knew this. So we ‘close at 7’, but there is 2 cars in the shop. Brad has a simple rotate on a sedan and I have a flat repair. I get my wheel off and find that about 5 inches of rim are gone. I don’t mean it’s bent or cracked. I mean there is a 5 inch by 1 inch portion just poofed out of existence. When I found it I gave a death squeak and quickly started to deflate; if the tire or remaining rim gave we’d have an explosion with a side of shrapnel. So I wander inside and explain to the customer that we can’t fix her ‘flat’ and that she is about to be real annoyed and out a bunch of monies. Thing is I has standards just above those of a heartless asshat so I moves the driver rear to the front so the spare can go on the rear. I then get into the back of her SUV and have to dig through the contents of her car for the spare. Insert Brad’s joke about knowing how the wheel got destroyed because she had enough wine to be sauced for weeks. The reason for this tangent is so you understands that I was on my car for a good while rearranging the wine barge to accept a wheel and accessories in the back. Meanwhile Brad brought our display in, disposed some tires, started draining our oil vats, then told me he had to do ‘computer stuff’ and fucked off before 8. So I actually cleans out the vats and deals with recycling and kills compressor and puts tools away and cleans the rest of the shop before leaving around 8:30. I go to our service writer and tell him the shop is locked down except for the main door because Brad might come back after doing ‘computer stuff’. Service writer Brody; “I doubt that”.
I clocks out and walk to the employee parking lot just after 8:30. There's Brad and he's chilling with 3 managers including Carter. On the down low I jump started Carter’s car once and as a result he was more than happy to join Team Troll. He’s sworn up and down not to tell anyone I drive a Mustang GT (truthies). Brad sees his chance and we take a stroll through the mandated employee parking lot; the entire time he just gets madder the further we walk. I’m laughing and pointing out random cars and saying random BS; if u imagines something a full blown sneakors would do then I does it. Brad is super serious and knows the car has to be in the area. I was headed to the car before I found him, yet nothing matches up. ALL THE PIECES ARE HERE, BUT HE JUST CAN’T GET A READ. Worst of all he knows he is being trolled, but he just can’t stop it. Some rando gets in the F150 he suspected hard and we head back to the main building. As we pass an Audi convertible I repeat “maybe we just walked past it” and Brad has a spaz attack before I reassure him it’s not mine. He looks me in the eye and insists to me yet again that he will figure out my car as I laugh it off. We then walk to the entire other side of the shop. When we get close to Brad’s car I peel off. Brad begrudgingly puts his stuff away as I walk into the night.
No doubt the frustration of Brad brings endless chortles to the Cootules, however you would not be the first to suspect sneakorsy and of course there was.
So I goes to lunch as Ansel is clocking out at 3pm; he asks to go with me and I oblige. Ansel is super poor because he can’t keep his pants up. Unfortunately let down by our education system who never informed him of condoms. Ultimately a good guy who often skips meals so his kids can have what they want; obviously I’mma buy him lunch… But there was a condition; he was gonna have a long walk back. New guy is on the lookout for my car. Fast forward to after lunch and I select a nice spot in the restaurant parking next to the shop. Then at 8:30 I is fully justified as Brad paces around within 10 yards of the unicorn obscured by chain fence and some shrubbery.
After I vanish into the night I take a long walk around the block making sure I arrive at Sport around 9 when Brad will have to be at the time clock. I silently enter my car and then it thunders into life. I bbrrrrrr-burble-bbbrrrRRRRR off into the night.