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Introduction, Proper

I has problem; cute girls never admits their cuteness to me.  I has nother problem; I R Sneakors. Turns out I has lots of problems.  Most immediate was this unicorn I became the caretaker of. Had a noticeable dent and a muffler that was disintegrating, but in the light it shown like a diamond.  Gotta keep it under wraps. Except that was blatantly impossible. Even though I takes impromptu baths in motor oil I is not a car person. Unfortunate considering I was in a shop stacked full of car peoples, but I still had my hopes and dreams.  Had to rub all two of my brain cells together concocting a plan.

Debt.  Works great for the mob and passes as reasonable motivator.  My plan was to grab a person of note, give em a ride in the car, take em to lunch, and then tell them to shut the hell up about it.  Some might see this as giving everything for nothing, but there were people who were too smart for their own good. If I gots to them first they owed me the favor of their silence.

First guy up was Logan.  Every time I see him I realize he’s a bit short and a bit thin, but still fairly muscular.  A genuinely good guy who could legitimately claim being loyal as a fault during an interview. If given a cause he would be just as determined and even more knowledgeable than myself.  He had to be the first. As soon as he knew I was the owner of something he was already making guesses. Went with the plan; show car, give lunch, and he was in. He kept things on the down low; mostly chilling in the back of unicorn conversations while never saying a word.  A cornerstone, but not the troll wrecking ball you might presume...

Let me introduce Jackson; all around good natured farm boy.  Kind of guy who would help you out of a tight spot like it was nothing.  No frills; just a straightforward. Someone who would have your back and give you the food off his plate.  And now let me introduce Jackson the pathological liar. A guy who would lie straight to your face with a toothy smile.  Someone who would be driving the bus you found yourself under.

Might wonder if Jackson was a Jekyll and Hide type or if I am literally describing two people, but no.  The rationale for Jackson was that he valued friends and family above all else. If you gave him a hand in a time of need then he was in your back pocket; morals be damned.  Around this time I was occasionally giving him rides to work. It wasn't even a question. However he was going to do me one better as was his way.

First day up to bat Brad confronted Jackson; my association wasn't a secret.  Jackson started off with a deadpan poker face. However he wasn't infallible; half way through he did a bit of a stumble before confessing.  Brad saw Jackson’s good nature shine through as he confirmed he’d been in my Mustang. Southern charm and a toothy grin sold everything. Catch was that Jackson was his own man doing his own thing; every time he rattled off a fresh description he included some bit of truth. Much to my annoyance.  Bout a month in he’d given away the car in pieces and gleefully lorded it over everyone; now to everyone’s dissatisfaction.

Between Logan laying low and Jackson actively trolling anyone who would listen the shop was pretty confused.  People who went to Logan weren't sure he knew anything. People who went to Jackson were certain they knew the car, but could never spot it.  People who came to me were just angry; always greeting them with misinformation and laughing off their stray guesses.